I look at you everyday
Wishing I could confess
Just hoping that one day
My vision of love would be professed

You look into my eyes
And I try the truth to hide
Then you smile
You give me that smile that melts my heart
As if you know the truth that lies in my
Mind and eagerly awaits to reveal
Itself to you

As we exchange words
The little things gain value
Then the truth, for its opportunity awaits

And then you torture me
You tease me with your
Touch never a full embrace but just enough to show
You care

And then the truth makes his way
And reveals itself
All doubts released
Only for you to pain inflict

The dreams shattered
Seems that I to you never really mattered

I was deceived
Deceived by your touch, by your smile, by your eyes
Fooled by your kindness and compassion
Enchanted by your words
But even worst cursed with the enslavement that
Yearns for your desire

don't

Don’t lie to me
Don’t give me those foolish excuses
If you want to tell me something; just do it
You convert my emotion into a deadly chemical that just fuses
Don’t give me hope that there is a chance so when I give you an opportunity you just refuse it

I love him but I don’t know if am in love with him. I think about him all the time but the same thing happened with others. What is so different about him? He is a careless I mean a robot shows more emotion than him he doesn’t give a shit about anything but he is the only shit I think I have about him. It isn’t fair you know torturing me while he could careless I hate him. It is like something you know is bad for you but it taste so damn sweet you can’t help it but keep taking it even when you know the consequence might be deadly.

change of heart

Why should I keep trying when u don’t want me there when u don’t even care I’m persistent but only if your feelings remain consistent I can’t be with some who doesn’t acknowledge my existence

this isn't home

This isn’t a home
This is just a place in which
Nothing but strangers live here and
Barely interact
This isn’t a home
This is a place were words of hate
And judgment are spoken
This isn’t a home this is a place
In which no one wants to be
But feel oblige to be in
Because of their “roles”
Mom must take care of the kids,
But she doesn’t love them
Dad must bring home money,
But always unwillingly
Child must be joyful simply because
She is forced to be
Trapped in a screenplay
Constantly acting like something I’m not
Never allowed to step out of this role
This isn’t a home!

lady

Sit up; walk straight; speak properly; close your legs, you are not a boy; wash the dishes, they will not wash themselves; cook for the family, I know that might be too much to ask of you since you do not care about the rest of us; this is how to dress when you go to school; this is how you dress to go to church; this is how you dress to attend events; you are not a whore so do not dress like one; I know that might be too much to ask of you since you do not care about how that might makes us look; do your hair, a lady always looks good at all times, this is how you speak to your teacher; this is how you speak to your preacher; this is how you speak to me; I know that might be too much to ask of you since do not recognize the respect I deserve; sweep & mop the floors; clean the bathrooms; take care of your brother, I know that might be too much to ask of you since do not care of anyone else but yourself; this is how you work hard so that you may never forget where you come from; this is how talk to boys; don’t throw yourselves at them; you are not a slut, you know; clean your room; organize yourself; focus on your studies because that will take you far; a lady is always be prepared; this is how you gain respect; this is how you demand it; this is how you climb rocky hills; this is how you get up when you fall; this is how you never look back; this is how you let go; wipe your tears and hide behind a mask so that others won’t see; try not to be weak, I know that might be too much to ask of you since all you do is cry; this is how you swim so that you might not drown; hold your tongue so that you might not say anything to get you into trouble; I know that might be too much to ask of you since you find it hard to think before you speak; this is how you hurt; this is how you forgive when you’re the one being hurt; this is how you leave before you are left; this is how you suffer; I know that won’t be hard for you because in your eyes you are always the victim; this is how you succeed ; keep your house clean; you are a lady; keep your body clean; you are a lady; this is how you throw a rock that is in your way; throw it far, not so far that it might hit someone but just far enough so that you might not encounter it again; this is how you fit through narrow a road; what if the road is too small and am too big?; you mean to tell me that after all you won’t be smart enough to find another way?

.......restrained

I feel like a fool
I can’t even look at you
Because I know that my eyes
Can’t hide and you can see pass
All the lies
Can’t help but feel blue
When you’re around I just don’t know what to do
I feel like all my energy is drained
My heart is filled with pain
You were the only one who could make me sane
And this shameful feeling is killing me making me insane
I wish it would go away so I no longer felt restrained

HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS

Everyone as individuals have rights that are attached to you since your existence. This does not only apply for citizens of the United States or are not only applied in the United States. Even as an undocumented immigrant you are still entitled to some rights, not only in the U.S but anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, many people are unaware of this and therefore are taken advantaged of by other people, organizations or even national governments. This is a constant issue that affects many people globally and in some cases it is a threat to an extinction of an entire group! Genocides are a major form of human violation; there have been much genocide that endangered many ethnics and religious groups. In fact, today we are witnessing the suffering or many men, women, and children dying in Darfur. People are being dehumanized, tortured, and discriminated against.

Aside from the constant injustice and heartless acts, what surprises me the most is the fact that although many of us, fortunate people who do not to go through so much hardship, do not do much to help our brothers and sisters. We become self-centered with our own problems and neglecting others. If we were more concerned for one another and more accepting towards one another less people would have to suffer. This is one of my major goals when I grow up to help those who are uninformed or too weak to fight for their human rights; as well as encouraging others to do the same.

interview about me

My child hood ambition: as a child I wanted to be a model and an actress but thankfully I drifted from that idea to a social activist.
Your favorite retreat: the beach is so peaceful and beautiful
Wildest academic dream: eliminate all cultural ignorance that create barriers and tension between people
What is your greatest regret? I believe in life the only regret is regretting things overall and not enjoying all the blessings we have.
Biggest challenge: Not letting things get to me and remaining optimistic in hard times
what do you consider your greatest achievement? Staying as sane as I am
Alarm clock: “NOOOO!”
your favorite literary work is: Catcher in The Rye
what is your idea of perfect happiness?
As said in The Lion King “hakuna matata” --
no worries for the rest of your days
Indulgence: FOOD
what is your most marked characteristic? Intuitive
What do you most value in your friends? Their honesty
Which living person do you most admire? My parents they have sacrificed many things and achieved many others in order to succeed give me a comfortable life
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would not change anything about myself because my mistakes are the things that formed me into the person I am today nand so far am happy with myself
Your inspiration: God-- I am very devoted to my religion that is a big part of my life and my guidance and advisor

torement

i felt as if i gave out my heart to some one
and they tore it into pieces
in front of my face n dropped it in the ground and
set it on flame and
looked right into my eyes
and then walked away

its funny it how someone can
impact your life in such a strong way

compatibility

Compatibility

Many are deceived
into thinking one must share similarities
it's sad to know that when it comes
to love all people are share is ignorance
they can't comprehend that love is acceptance

It is shaping your flaws
in form of a man or woman
it is to look into their eyes and embrace
them

they are your gifts God sent
they define and complete you
they love you for the very
reason that sets you apart
your heart

the heart that only speaks one language
that only another comprehends
something so strong distance cant separate
It is the very thing that never makes you loose faith
by Indira Alvarez

I didn't leave

I didn't leave

I didn't leave
you just decided not to stay
you left me all alone
and just walked away

you didn't hear
what I had to say
and when I tried to get close
you pushed me further away

I was patient
by you side everyday
I saw you change
you no longer cared
you didn't want to stay

but I held on,
loving you, hoping
that one day, again
you also may

I tried to make things
right. figure out what I did
wrong. Were you punishing
me? I was willing to pay.
Anything as long as you stayed.

I lost faith
so I let go
and watch you runaway
so you see I didn't leave
you just decided not to stay

I Don't Need a Judge

I don’t need a judge or a critic

Who tells me who I m and who

I need to be all I need is a friend

Who like me for who I m


I know who I m so don’t

Judge me because you don’t

I know my worth and values

I know who I m and who I want to be


So don’t judge me for not being who

You want me to be because

Who you want me to be is not who I m


I like you for who you for who you were

Because who you are now is unknown to

Both me and you

The sad part of all of this is that you can’t see

What you done and as much as I try to be

At your side you draw me away as if you

Don’t want to stay so my friend leaves

And the judge stays

You giving me no option but to take you out of

My life because I need a friend not a judge

Family distraction

Family can be very distracting everyone. Lets be realistic people no family is perfect. I am sure we all experience one circumstances, if not many, where we had some type of drama with a family member because of a simple disagreement. Small situation like this can become a huge obstacles for students. How you may ask? Well easy, as a student you have to focus on your work in class but how can you do that when your thinking about all the things that are happening at home? answer---well you can't. Even when you think this problems do not affect you, it does. family is a huge part of everyones lives and can have a huge effect on ones life.

Moving on

some times you have to decide which battles you fight and which you don't and whether holding a grudge or a negative emotion towards someone is even worth while ending your relationship with them. If it is someone who took advantage of you and never cared for you then let them go but if its someone who has been there for you and cares for you let go of the problem because when you messed up or when you will (because believe me you will)I guarantee you they will be there for you.

alone

alone
they tell you to speak but
no one will hear you out
so much you wanna say but
you cant find a place to shout
to shout out your anger,
your frustration, your pain
you find yourself restrained

you find yourself crying
and no one to turn to
wondering since when
how did you become
the person who has no one.

the critic

The Critic

its bad. It can destroy a life.

It can twist someone's world all around

it can make the most hopeful person loose faith

it always awaits for someone to take

worse of all it is an addiction

a conflict in which we all must face

we have all been at that stage

we are the tragic heroes in which it makes

we reach the self-inflicted phase

we visualize

we socialize

but sadly we never realize

we just criticize

by Indira Alvarez

quote of the day

"It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone... but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."