To All the Nice Guys

 Being nice isn't luxurious or  a unique quality. It is the standard. Just because you're nice, it doesn't entitle you to "get the girl."  The girl who knows her worth expects kindness & respect from everyone not out of entitlement but because she knows she gives what she deserves. It doesn't take much to be kind & respectful so that alone is not impressive. You need passion, ambition, intelligence, resilience. You need to maker laugh when she's so overwhelmed by the world she's forgotten life's delights. You need to encourage her & pick her up when all hope has escaped her. You need to be able to remind her of the type of person she is when she's lost herself in a maze of despair. You need to love her even when she feels she's unworthy of it. Nice guys will always finish last if that's the only thing they have to offer.
Kindness is the standard not the exception.

Aftermath

When you've had to explain reasons for your break-up so much, you got it boiled down to two sentences:
"I need more than he could give."
& "He couldn't handle what I had going on in my life."

It took weeks before I worked up the nerve to delete his number but it didn't matter bc it only took a few seconds to memorize it

Natural Resilience

A letter to my future child

As a daughter, I know what it is to grow up thinking your parents are invincible. You see them as these immortal, flawless individuals the closest personification of god you’ll ever encounter. They surround your life. They are your provider, protector, playmate, and advisor.
Then you grow up some more and venture out on your own. You find that there is more to life than what you were told. You meet people with greater abilities. People, who cook better, are wealthier, stronger, more adventurous, and smarter. You discover the gods you praised were false idols.
As an adult, encounter more choices and options. You’re exposed more. There is no one there to filter out the bad from the good, the pain from the joy. Everything is everywhere and nowhere to hide.
You realize your parents weren’t trying to be gods but guides.
I imagine parenting is not an easy task. To raise a child young and innocent, shielded from the evils and hurt of the world is an impossible task. Instead you teach them how to be equipped to deal with it all. You invest everything you have and are for them. You become everything so that one day they will need nothing.
But knowing when it is enough, when the lesson is over seems unattainable. Especially when the truth of the matter is you’re still learning lessons and falling down.
So I vow to you my unborn child that I will teach you what I know but I will not preach it as gospel.
I will show you my world and if you want to cross borders and swim across seas I won’t limit your entries
My strength or knowledge will be limited and my riches won’t be endless. My love will have no bounds.

Truth is

I am afraid my love will be too much for you
I'm afraid you you'll drown in the depths of my love
I'm afraid that as you lay on my chest and try to listen to my heart
the aroma of my bosom will be too overwhelming
I'm afraid your bones will be too fragile for the strength of my embrace
I'm afraid your ears will bleed because my woo will be too intense to hear
I'm afraid I'll scar your skin with my passion
I'm afraid I'm not being honest because the truth is
I'm afraid my love for you is too much for me to handle
I'm afraid I'll suffocate exhaling my passions and neglecting to inhale yours
The truth is loving you is the most terrifying experience of my life.