A Man Dressed as a Hero

There was a time I held you up on a pedestal. You were up there with God, not on the same level but pretty damn close. You were fierce, powerful and immortal. There was nothing in life too big or too strong that could defeat you. I did not have to resort to fictional characters like Superman, Spiderman, or Wonder Woman when I lived with the real deal in my very own home. I'd look at you and wonder how on earth did I get so lucky share a single drop of blood that ran through my veins with such an amazing man. I’d pray every night to God to bless me with a fraction of your greatness. I wasn't quiet about my admiration either. I'd let everyone know they should be privilege to share the same room with you. I'd retell stories of your conquest despite the overwhelming obstacles you over came & victory obtained.
Men would walk up to me and try to shower me with compliments and gifts hoping that my heart to them I’d give. But once learned that there is such thing as greatness, it’s hard to settle for anything less. I decided my worth should be that much more because I was made with sperm of a man that managed to be as close as any human has to God. A man of such stature doesn’t bore worthless children. If I couldn’t find a man as might as he, I wanted no man at all.
It took me almost 21 years to realize, that man was never real. I’d like to think that it was because until now he finally met defeat but I knew better. The truth is that I made excuses for him because the truth I refused to believe but there is only so much one can conceal. The tragedy of idolizing a man is that it is only a matter of time before his imperfections are revealed.

A Huntsman Called Reality

Reality is huntsman waiting on the sidelines for its next kill
We are its prey
Trying to escape an inevitable death
Fugitives running great distances
To flee from reality's grasp
He hunts for pleasure
Playing a game where we are unaware of our roles
One moment we are his playmates
And the next his opponents
Stuck in a game where he is the player, judge and referee
He is not afraid to play dirty
He is merciless
His greatest pleasure are targeting the weak and hearing their screaming pleads
We can run away or hide
But no matter what we cant escape the reality of our lives
Only to end in front of the very thing we ran from
Finding ourselves in a circumstance that will define our lives
We are left with one question
Flight or fight?

A Documented Farewell- inspired by A Fool for Love by Sam Sheperd

My dearest lover,


I can’t do this anymore. I am tired of being the only one fighting for us. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in this relationship, making all the effort but not getting any results. I am tired of this emotional roller coaster you put me through. One moment I am in complete ecstasy from our love and the next I am heart broken ‘cause you’re gone.

Well now it’s me who leaves. I am not sticking around anymore. I refuse to be a pawn in your game. I am not one of your broken down stallions you can tie down and be sure it will stay there waiting for you. I am no longer the foolish girl who waited at all hours of the night and worried away whenever she saw you walkout the door worry and wonder if this time you won’t come back. I realized that although my love for you is passionate and probably eternal, it is not worth my sanity.

Our love was cursed way before our birth. Our father was too greedy that being in love with your mother wasn’t enough. He had to go find another heart to drain love out of but unlike your mother who was his first he did not have to love her back at least not as much. See, once he drained her to fill empty whole that took his heart’s place he disposed of her and disappeared.

Our parents left us their legacy in our genes. From our father you inherited the black hole that took place of your hear. From my mother I inherited the desperation to be loved. But I refuse to reenact our parents’ tragic pasts. My love for you should not be more than the love a sister has for a brother.

It’s taken me till now when I am well in my 30’s to realize how filled of sin this love affair has become. As if incest were not enough, we been at this for 15 years and we still behave like children overwhelmed by emotions. We fell in love too young, so young I never got a chance to love myself before I loved you. We need to let go of this past we been hanging to in order to have a better future even if that future does not involve being together.


Your eternal lover