Jul 24, 2013

Human Limitation

I am invincible, until failure crosses my path and knocks me down.
I am flawless, until my imperfections escape the cages I created out of confidence
I am resilient, until pain finds its way in
past the bruises that taint my skin
into the core of my soul where it decides to reside in
I am witty, until my mind encounters a problem manufacturing of comebacks in the assembly line
I am articulate, until the train tracks that transports words from my mouth to my brain all shift lanes and face the same direction.
I am patient, until my comprehension grows weary and convinces desire not to go the extra mile 
I am limited, in almost every capacity except when it comes to my ability to love.

Jun 18, 2013

My Grey

You are the gravity that has always kept me grounded
but I never gave a second thought.
You’ve never abandoned me
But I only remember your presence when I fall.
You are my Northern Star leading me to my own Bethlehem.
Guiding me to my glory,
A glory you believe in more than me.
You are the serpent in my Garden of Eden
Persuading with temptation and desire.
You are my guilty pleasure
And my most trusted confidant.

You played so many roles in my life that I’ve lost count.
You’ve been such a constant;
I often overlook calculating you into my life.
My oblivion was finally disrupted by the frustration of my subconscious
It constantly drew me to you
But I never felt its gravitational pull so it pulled harder,
Till my mind could no longer hide our bond under a rug of rationalization.
My body became more impulsive around you.
Caught between a battle of reason and desire my mind grew wild.
You became the guru of my happiness
A safe haven from my woes
A scale, measuring my morality and pleasure

You are the gravity that has always kept me grounded
But I never gave a second thought.
You’ve never abandoned me
But I only remember your presence when I fall.
You are my Northern Star leading me to my own Bethlehem.
Guiding me to my glory,
A glory you believe in more than me.
You are the serpent in my Garden of Eden
Persuading with temptation and desire.
You are my guilty pleasure
And my most trusted confidant.

You are the grey to my black and white world.
You are my vacation destination that distracts me from all my woes
You are the constant that varies in roles
You are the last person I expected to reach my soul

You are the friend I hope to always know

Apr 4, 2013

The Cycle of Decease



Not all inheritances are gifts.
And usually they are the ones
When declining, is not a choice.

The woman
That once wore her wrinkles with no shame
That only, skirts, she’d wear
And never revealed her hair
That walked miles and never gasped for air

The woman
Who could never cook a decent meal
Who never hesitated to say how she feels
Who never possessed a luxury that was given
Who bore ten children

She, is now disappearing.
Her pride missing
Her memories fleeting
Her identity shifting

To a girl
Aging beyond her years
Lost in a world she no longer knows
Loosing control of a life that once was hers
Forced to live in fear

The last time my grandmother could remember
She was witness to her husband’s surrender
To the same decease that’s now her offender
She found comfort in his demise
Knowing he and his memories
Would, finally, reunite

Now she waits for her turn to die
My mother, will now be her witness
And she too risk being victim to this sickness

Not all inheritances are gifts.
And usually they are the ones
When declining, is not a choice.

Mar 11, 2013

Guerrilla Warfare

I am a guerrilla fighter, fighting a war that began long before my birth. This war was left to me in my ancestor’s will. They were brave warriors that devoted their life to a war they knew its victory they would never see fulfilled.

In this war, we are not many; too few are brave enough to step out of the comfortable ignorance of our oppression. I walk among you but I do not condone your condemnation of those who do not fit into your criteria of what a human being should be. In this battle it’s hard to distinguish your friends from your enemies. The roles of oppressed and oppressor is very interchangeable. Unlike many of you, I am immune to the fog that refuses to allow you to see these same standards you fail to reach.
But sometimes, I wear your arrogance as a disguise and abide your rules of hypocrisy. Judging my brothers and sisters for their uniqueness using their pain as paint to color my own difference and blend into the bland background that protects me from a target. But under this mask of duplicity, I am a warrior who recognizes a target isn’t a target unless it’s a threat. A threat that brings fear to those gets in its way.
I do not assimilate out of fear; I assimilate to infiltrate. I play by the rules of their rigid game. I know that with my dark skin, “nappy” hair, strange brain, empty pockets, and lack of balls between my legs they’ll never see me as a danger. I’m only comforted by the thought that their realization of their misjudgment of me will be the last thing that goes through their minds before I end their lives.
I am a guerrilla fighter, fighting a war that began long before my birth. This war was left to me in my ancestor’s will. They were brave warriors that devoted their life to a war they knew its victory they would never see fulfilled. Now its is up to me to complete this legacy. I fight for justice, understanding, and equality against oppressive ideals of society.

Jan 17, 2013

Plea



Forgive me, my developing brothers.
I abandon you to flee into the arms of a greedy land.
You must understand, my intentions were not to cause you harm.
I was one of you; I am a part of you.
I came from struggle, sorrow, & poverty.

I remember when she bore me;
she greeted me with a bright smile on her face, filled with hope.
She nurtured me, feeding me only from her supple breast.
She didn’t have much but what little she did; to me she’d give.
My mother country was good to me.
And how do I repay her?
With betrayal!

Forgive me, my developing brothers.
I abandon you to flee into the arms of a greedy land.
I left with intentions of coming back.
Then I got there and he promised me the world,
Of nothing, I would ever lack.
He was a charmer, you see.
He showered me in luxury.

At first I was overwhelmed with exhilaration,
but as time passed, it became my expectation.
Luxury was my new fascination.
I took what I wanted even if it was more than I needed.
My desires had no limitations.

Forgive me, my developing brothers.
You must understand, my intentions were not to cause you harm.
My ignorance was sustained by the hunger of my greed.
Mother country’s voice, I would sometimes hear,
But the message never reached my ears.

Once I took off my diamond earrings, the sound became clear.
“Where did you get all those pretty things?”
Mother country’s message, I could finally hear.
The answer to her question, I did not know.
I searched for clues in the items he bought me.

Every item had traces of a smell, I knew to well.
The scent of struggle, sorrow, & poverty I could detect.
Promises of life & liberty he preached.
A fighter for justice he, himself, proclaimed.
When truly he was a monster who used lies to hide his shame.

Mother country and her sisters were his slaves.
Enslaved by desperation & manipulation,
Forced to sustain his lifestyle of excess.
And I?
I, I was his accomplice.



By I. Indy Alvarez

Dec 18, 2012

A Humanity Reminder



I look around and see a place created by perfection yet all I see is its absence, a world with a toxic combination of fear, hate, rage and death. People fear that the truth of their imperfections will be revealed so they mask it with ridicule towards others. The fear subsides and bonds with a strong element of hatred. A hatred use to abhor things in others that you once feared would be revealed in yourself, but the imperfection never fades so what was once hate transforms to rage, a burning anger that cannot be satisfied with the ridicule of others. Its new target is itself and that’s when rage ends and evolves to death.

I look around and see a place created by perfection yet all I see is its absence. There is a chemical imbalance in the atmosphere due to its lack of purity. Those with love only experience it temporarily before the blood of others creates a stain of pain. A young girl looses her innocence to a lying tongue that bathed her in its saliva’s stench, losing her sweet scent. A once empty womb, a child now bears that will live out its days imagining the image of her invisible father. At first her minded will paint bright and happy pictures that are filled with hope of his return, but as she goes on to the world and time goes by, the colors of her image will fade so she will use the colors that surround her in the darkness of her despair and paint the picture black and grey.

I look around and see a place created by perfection yet all I see is its absence. I do not know if God weeps, but if I were Him, I’d flood the world with tears of disappointment. I would make waves of from them and wash away the world from its existence. I do not know if God dreams but I were Him, I would avoid my guilt and built a dream out of denial. I would never send salvation and spare my child.

I will never be able to fathom God’s rational for loving us unconditionally despite our daily self-destructive behavior. I look around and see a place created by perfection and I’m reminded how undeserving I am to share its creator.