Second Hand Emotion

Feeling my eye water
But not the tear drops.
Seeing my cheeks redden
But not them burn.
Hearing my heart beat
But not the blood flow.
Tasting my saliva, as it drown my tongue
But not the hunger that started it all.
Smelling your sweet scent
But not remembering where it went.

You fled & in my brain left a dent,
But that isn’t enough to feel your touch.
I can no longer feel my skin tingle & my stomach turn,
Recalling the climax build as you drew closer to me.
I can no longer inhale large portions of your scent
That left a temporary footprint in the air.
Enough to get high
But never to overdose.
I can no longer hear your voice linger in my ear.
I can no longer taste your honeyed, salty skin
As I kissed your back.

As comforting as it is for me, our memories, to recall,
The feelings lack
Second hand emotions can never capture it all.

Everyday I learned how much more I love you. Just when I think there cannot be anymore greater way. It is love like this that brings me joy but also woe. Sometimes I fear that this very love might transform into fear & you, the one I adore, will be no more. So I need you to be careful with my heart because pain strong as that, I cannot withstand, my dear. 


Break my heart now that it's at my sleeve & not in your hand. Yes, I'm weak now & the wound will leave a permanent scar that not even time can heal, but I will live. But if you wait Til you've gotten a hold of my heart, you'll carry blood stains engraved like tattoos shaped with my pained facial expressions & images of my cold motionless body at your feet with persistent hands trying to reach out to you with the last blood flow & breathe in my body.

Re: Life’s a bitch

Don’t call me a bitch
Because you can’t handle your own shit
I am tired of being disrespected and antagonized
Don’t blame me for your inability to get organized
I am tired of seeing you fall
And not once be willing to admit you’re the only one at fault
If there is anyone that should be angry it’s me
It is the decisions you make that determine in which mood I’ll be
With each reckless decision you make
It’s another strike to my fragile face that aches
And here you are calling me a bitch
When it’s because of you I have a new cut to stich
There is only so much abuse I can take
If it’s not for you, do it for my sake
Think carefully of the decisions you make

By Indy Alvarez

Semen stain sheets

Wrapped in semen stain sheets
Robbed of my dignity
My most prized possession
Gone, stolen by the vicious beast
And me?

Wrapped in semen stain sheets
No longer aware of my identity
Filled with sin that needs confession
Legs wide opened, one facing west & the other east
How could this be?

Wrapped in semen stain sheets
He took my innocence without feeling guilty
Put himself inside of me without permission
I tried to scream but my voice he ceased
Why didn’t I

see?

Wrapped in semen stain sheets
I blame me for his obscenity
I should have known theft was his mission
Now I mourn, for my purity is deceased
Trapped in these semen stain sheets, will I ever be free?